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 A sweet, beautiful, lived happily ever after relationship is what we all want and crave for, but the hard work involved is what we don't want to identify with.In some cases one party does the hard work but it takes two to tango.
Based on my experience and that of my friends I have realized that there are some laid down rules to help us achieve the lived happily ever after in our relationships.

Lived happily ever after I don't think or believe is a myth or happens only in fairy tales or story books, I strongly believe it is achievable if we all work towards it. I'm still learning how to achieve it.

1)   ACCEPTANCE; accept your partner just the way he/she is. Anything you cant live with don't even think you can change it later or adapt to it later, it is very hard to adapt to what you don't like. Don't enter a relationship with the hope of changing your partner later, or fasting and praying for him to change. If you love your spouse, accept him/her the way he/she is.
     Most people especially women enter into relationships with the hope of changing their partners, instead of loving and accepting them the way they are, and when that doesn’t happen frustration and resentment sets in.
All of us want someone who will listen to us without any sense of judgment, rejection or condemnation. Our partner who is supposed to be our best friend is the one whose acceptance we need most to assure us of their love. For the fear of being judged, condemned and rejected we don’t always come out clean with our mistakes and faults.                                                                                                      

    TO DO ;  draw a list of your partners good attributes or character that you like, maybe his/her generosity, faithfulness, love for God and family, beauty or handsomeness, good sense of humor etc.On another list draw up his "bad sides" if I may use that, we all have our bad sides; take a good look on the good attributes, read them very well, meditate on them and digest them. in fact carry them with you where ever you go.Look at it anytime your partner gets you angry and you must see something in the list that will make you smile,happy .On the other list containing the bad sides, just look at it once and thrash it, in fact burn it to ashes.

2)    Admiration;  learn to admire your partner. There must be something you liked in your partner before you settled for him/her before you agreed to even date him/her, even if along the line he/she lost that feature or looks, look for another feature and admire in your partner. Maybe, height, dimples, smile, complexion,boobs, eyes, lips, anything at all. Tell your partner how beautiful or handsome he/she looks and make their day with just that comment. To me, it doesn't mater what anybody thinks about my dress, hair or anything provided my husband okays it. It does not even matter if I like it or not. I walk with so much pride and confidence anytime I receive a good compliment from my husband, you should try complimenting your partner more often.                                                      
     TO DO; Compliments really works and helps boost ones ego, before your spouse leaves the house everyday just drop a word of compliment to him/her. Don't wait for your spouse to ask how do I look, before you say, "you look good" .There must be something your partner does not really appreciate or like about his/her body, features or looks,find that thing and admire it.

3)    Compromise;  You must not have your way all the time, you must not win all arguments, sometimes too let the sleeping dog lie, just for the sake of peace. Learn to adapt to your partners lifestyle. There are some foods I don't like but they have   turned to be my best food because my husband likes them. I don't mind sitting down watching a football match because hubby likes it. I never imagined myself watching a football match, but now I know almost the names of all Chelsea players.
     I was never a fan of any football club till I married a die hard Chelsea fan and I have to become one. UP CHELSEA, THE BLUES. In most cases the woman compromises. It doesn't really matter who does the           compromising.                                                                                                                                                                       TO DO ; accept your partners friends,family, food likes and dislikes, lifestyle, hobbies. Make his/her friends your friends, make his/her hobby your hobbies and enjoy what your partner after all the bible said 'and two shall become one'. 1+1=1.

4)       Appreciation; Appreciation works better than criticism, it is said that if you thank someone for the small thing he/she did, he/she will be encouraged to do more. If your wife gives a glass of water say thank you, if your husband buys a loaf of bread or help you around the house say thank you, don't feel he/she is doing his/her job.No matter how Insignificant what your partner did for you, SAY THANK YOU.
TO DO; appreciate and encourage your partner more often. Even when your partner make love to you say thank you, he/she can choose to say no to sex. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF 'THANK YOU'. IT IS A MAGIC WORD.

5)  You may be wrong; nobody is perfect, nobody knows it all; You may be wrong sometimes, you may be at fault sometimes, don't always be Mr/Mrs right. Give your partner some benefit of doubt. When you make a mistake or you are wrong , admit it, no one has choked to death for swallowing his/her pride. No one is above mistake. So many times the problem is no longer the cause of the quarrel but who will swallow pride first and admit being wrong or making a mistake. 
TO DO; don't wait till the quarrel escalate and you will be looking for the devil that did this or that. Swallow your pride now and let it go. See some of the advice you wish your mom or someone told you before marriage, HERE.


Do you think I was wrong with any point I mentioned? Please I will most welcome any form of criticism or correction or maybe an encouragement in the comment box.

I may not have said it all, there are some points you still want to bring out, please use the comment box and educate us more. LEARNING NEVER ENDS. 

Feel free to share with your spouse, families and friends and help them sustain their relationships.


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