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THE ADVICE MY MOM NEVER GAVE ME BEFORE MARRIAGE ; PART TWO





In marriage, we need advice before and during the marital relationship.
Marriage is not a bed of roses, there are ups and downs, good and bad times, happy and sad moments, but above all, it is a wonderful, beautiful institution, instituted by God to help mankind find peace,love and companionship in life. THANK GOD FOR THIS INSTITUTION CALLED MARRIAGE.
Almost all K churches, conduct  pre-marriage  classes for a period of three months at least, to prepare the intending couple for life after wedding. In this pre-marriage classes a lot is being taught about marital life. Marriage is not about the wedding ceremony/the wedding day, it is about living happily after spending all the money on the wedding day, it is about living the marriage life.

1. You will need more than prayers; Prayer is very good and important in life, more so in marriage. You can never withstand the power of a praying wife or mother.  But then, no matter how much you pray and fast or even speak in tongues but you are not doing the right thing, but you are not doing the needful,  that you are supposed to be doing as a wife, your marriage may not be as sweet as you wanted and  prayed for it to be. The bible commands a woman to respect and revere her husband, praying and fasting without obeying this simple instruction of submitting to your husband, may not get you the desired "happily ever after".                Men desire and love respect, it is just in their nature, as a wife you are expected to give it to him. Men deserve the respect, it is not easy being a man. FAITH WITHOUT WORK IS DEAD. 

You are praying and fasting for your husband not be to be enticed by another woman, but  you deny him his conjugal rights (sex) time upon time, does he not have blood running in his veins? You don't have regard for your husband, always sending the maid to attend to your husbands' needs, You need more than prayers.        Do the needful also as you pray.

2. Love your husbands' family; do not hate any member of your husband’s family, you don’t want any of them around your home, because they want your husband’s money. You see them as ‘outsiders’, but your own family members as ‘insiders’. If you truly want your marriage to stand, love and welcome every member of your husband’s family (his mother, father, siblings, uncles, aunties, nieces, nephews and cousins) see all of them as your own. How can you claim you love your husband and hate his loved ones? If you truly love your husband, you must love those he loves too.  There is a wedding song we use to sing those days of flower girls, it goes like this;  "where you go, I will go, where you die I will die, your people will be my people". Why don't you take your husbands' people as your people?  See your mother in law as your mother, let her mother you and be your friend, love her as much as you love your own mother.  She did well in birthing and raising the man you call your husband. LOVE IS THE GREATEST COMMANDMENT.

3. You will need lots and lots of money;  after the wedding  party and celebrations, comes the marriage life proper, trust me, you are going to need more money, more than you will ever need to celebrate the most elaborate wedding on earth. You will need money to  put food on the table, cloth the kids, pay school fees and other bills, fuel the car. to keep looking good is money etc. Make sure your husband  and even you as the wife have a source of income; you will need some money in marriage. How we spend all the time and money planning for wedding ceremony, which is a one day event and forgetting the marriage itself which is a life time event? Do not get me wrong, 'wedding party is once in a lifetime event', it wont be bad if you spend some money to make your day memorable and sweet.

4. Be your husband’s best friend; I have  come to realize that the best friend you can ever have is your spouse. If you ask me, I will say that nobody will be a better friend than your spouse. When the going gets tough, you run to your spouse. He/she is the only one that understands your innermost feelings, the only one that knows if and when you are truly fine and happy. Your spouse is your number one fan. Let your partner know/understand that he can confide in you, he/she can trust you, that you won’t judge or condemn him/her. Make yourself available for your partner, after all a friend creates out time for his/her friend no matter how busy his/her schedule is.

5. The first aim of marriage is companionship; God saw that Adam was lonely, he had no one to talk to or play with, and God gave him Eve. Children are very important in marriage, children helps solidify marital relationship and bring more joy to the home, but if there happens to be a delay in their arrival, just know that you are there to keep your spouse company, and as well, wait on God to perfect his promise of fruitfulness. God gave Adam Eve first, before He (God) told them to go into the world, to be fruitful and multiply.          Even if you have your kids around, you still feel lonely if your husband is not around.

6. You are going to have lots and lots of sex; why rush into premarital sex when you are going to have lots and lots of it in marriage? When you won’t be scared of getting pregnant or contacting disease or maybe neighbors hearing you scream or another girl walking into the room and laying claim to your partner, or he dumping you after using you. Relax sex is not running, rather you will run away from sex. Sex is better enjoyed within the sacrament of marriage.

7. Forgive even before the apology comes; in marriage, offense must come, but don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, and thereby letting in the devil and giving him a footstool. Always anticipate offense, release forgiveness even before the offense and the apology comes. Remember: forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sins against us. The problem is not offense coming, but how fast and quick you are in resolving the quarrel.



 8. My mom forgot to tell me that marriage is very sweet and enjoyable; she forgot to tell me that God has very good intentions in mind for the human race and hence the creation of the marriage institution. To love and be loved back, is a very wonderful feeling, to know that someone got your back, cares for you, wants to be part of your life and is part of your life, is a life changing feeling and experience. If I had known marriage is this sweet, I would have gotten married earlier than I did.


9. You need more than love; of course, love is very important in every human relationship, but in marriage I believe more than love is needed, love, yes,love conquers all, but you can’t profess love for someone you do not trust, you cannot profess love for someone you cannot forgive his/her wrong, you cannot profess love for someone you cheat on or someone you are not faithful to,you cannot profess love to someone you don't respect, you cannot profess love for someone you cannot spend your money on. Love is a compound consisting of small elements like trust, forgiveness, faithfulness etc.

I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE MARRIAGE, I MAY HAVE LEFT OUT SOME, PLEASE USE THE COMMENT BOX TO BRING THEM IN.

Are there more things you wish to know before you say I do? Your questions are welcomed, fell free to ask.


 TILL I BEEP YOU AGAIN....STAY HAPPY ALWAYS.......
  
 FOR THE PART ONE OF THIS PIECE OF MARRIAGE ADVISE CLICK HERE.
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