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THE MOTHER IN-LAW SYNDROME....................................

Mother-in law/ Daughter in-law
Your mother in-law is your husbands' mother.

I feel saddened when I hear people complain about their mothers in-law, she is this, she is that. Maybe because I have the best mom in-law in the world, or maybe because she does not have daughters and accepted her daughters in-law as her own daughters. 

I wonder why a wife should complain if her mother in-law goes to her pot to fetch food for herself or cook for her son. Won’t that save you the stress of serving her or cooking for your husband? After all before you came into the man’s house, his mom does cook for him. To me, if she wants to be my cook, so be it. Who like suffer head?

If you as a wife would allow your mother, go to your pot and fetch food for herself, cook for your husband, then why not your mother in-law?

I confide in my mother-in law so much, I so much won her over to my side that she does not ever support my husband anytime we quarrel. She will scold my husband right in my presence even though I was at fault, she will only call me later and caution me with a warning not to look for trouble again, that she will not support me again.

Things I may not tell my mother, I boldly tell my mother-in law.  If hubby does something I do not like, I can easily report him to his mother but not to my mother. She does omugwo for me very well, without complaining, takes care of my kids more than I do. She will tell me to go and sleep while she looks after the kids for me. She does not complain over food. I don’t know why I love her, but she is the best. She has her own wahala sha, but I have decided to see and appreciate the good side and overlook the bad sides. Nobody is perfect, I'm sure I have faults that she is overlooking too, for peace to reign.

How to win your mother in-law to yourself:

1. Buy her gifts; Even if it’s not always at least on her birthday, mothering Sunday or Christmas. Who does not like to receive gifts? Whether old or not, women love gifts. Your gifts will make a way for you in her heart. It is a known fact that a mans' gifts makes ways for him, It must not be an expensive one, anything you can afford. My mother in-law will appreciate anything even if it’s a #200 recharge card.

2. Cook for her; If you can cook for your mother, why not your husbands’ mother, the woman that birthed and raised the father of your kids, the man you call husband, She deserves to eat food cooked by you. Ruth in the scriptures followed her mother in-law even after her husband’s death. If she decides to be the cook, then enjoy the meals. Me, I won't mind at all.

3. Let her grandchildren be close to her; the joy of grandchildren is more than the joy of a child. Do not deny your mother in-law the joy of having and being close to her grandchildren. Send your kids on holidays to their grandma, she is not going to eat them, she will only have issues with your kids if she has issues with you.

4. Do not compete for her sons' love with her; I think this is where the rift between mother and daughter in-law starts, especially if the mother in-law is widowed. Allow her son to love her, and allow her to love her son, allow her son get close to her.  Just know that she loves her son as much as you love your son or as much as your mother loves your brother (s). No matter how much she loves your man, she cannot go to bed with him. Do not let your mother in-law see you as a barrier between her and her son.

5. Attend to her little needs; a woman that is old enough to be your husband’s mother, needs help with little things like washing her cloths, cleaning/ sweeping her room etc. If you are around her, don’t see it as work: do those things for her, if you can do them for your own mother why not your mother in-law? If she does not have anyone to help her with her chores do them and receive blessings. Remember that you will be a mother in-law one day.

6. Love her children; your husband’s siblings have to be loved by you. It will show your mother in-law that you love her family and really want to be part of the family. She will be convinced that you do not want to separate her children.

7. Give her listening ears; anytime she has something to complain about or needs someone to talk to, be there to listen to her. Maybe one of her children, siblings or relations has done something she does not like and she feels hurt and needs someone to talk to. Listen to her, before saying “this old woman has come again with her trouble”. My mother in-law will call me & say “Nma I know you are the only one that will listen to me, the one that will tell me it is well, the only one that will tell me well-done, the only one that will tell me sorry, comfort, console and encourage me, Nma that is why I called you. And for sure, I will encourage, comfort, console and advise her. She maybe older than me by age & experience but she does not know it all. Be there for your mother in-law. Even I do not know what to, I will just say, mama sorry, it is well.
I don’t know a mother in-law that will not love her daughter in-law that does at least half of these things.

Some mothers' in-law can be very difficult to please anyways, if yours is like that sorry, but there must be a way out.

8. Be her friend; some advise from her will help you in the future, when she will no more be there to advise you. I think being her friend is the head and tail of this article.

For my eight years of marriage, my mother in-law has never supported my husband over any argument or quarrel: she is always on my side. She will always, "Nma, do not mind men".


Do you think mothers in-law can be very grateful? Drop your views in the comment.

Are there other ways you won your mother in-law over to your side? Share your tricks in the comment box.

All I know is that I will try my best to give my mother in-law the kind of treatment I would want my daughters in-law to give me. THE ADAGE; WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.

TILL I BEEP YOU .................................

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