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The first five years of marriage.

Marriage is the coming together of two different individuals (man and woman) from different backgrounds, financially, educationally, emotionally, socially, religiously etc to form a family unit.

It won’t just be easy for that man and woman to live smoothly without having arguments and quarrels. Even siblings with the same background and upbringing do fight, argue and quarrel. more so two individuals that never knew each other but came together in the name of marriage.

Personally, if you ask me, I will say that it is very, very normal for couples to quarrel and argue, the only part I do not subscribe to is abuse of any kind, financial, verbal, emotional and worse is physical abuse or domestic violence.

How do the couples learn and adapt to each other if they do not quarrel?

The first five years of marriage is very tumultuous and difficult. I think those first five years, the couples are still trying to learn and adapt to each others differences and the new found lifestyle. Marriage is a lifestyle, you know.

No matter how long you date or planning to date your partner, you just have to expect quarrels and arguments in a marital relationship and then learn adaptation.

The difference between dating, courtship and marriage is like traveling to and from America ten times by foot.

Anybody that said or says he/she does not quarrel or argue with his/her partner is a very big liar, just run away from such a person, he/she is a pretender.

My story;

I met my husband in my third year and married him after my final year exams.

And the married life started.

There was a time I called my mother in-law and told her that I’m tired of “this marriage”. I think it was my third year of marriage.

Then we (my husband and I) hardly go for one full month without one form of quarrel or the other.  Sometimes I don't understand or grasp the real cause of the quarrel, it was like somebody said, you two must be quarreling always. 
My mother in-law calmly advised, consoled, encouraged and told me how to handle things. That is why you must have a motherly figure, a God fearing one to confide in.

I will still tell you to be patient and remain prayerful, the difficult years will soon pass by, give it time, it will pass away.

The only marriage that does not get sweeter with years is the one the couples threw in the towel before the difficult years passed over, they gave up too early, I almost did, but I thank God I didn’t.

It is my ninth year of marriage this year and eight years wedding anniversary.

By the grace of God, I look for quarrel now but I can’t find it. Sometimes now I carry face for my husband just for him to say “baby what is it “. 
The worst is that I miss “the makeup sex” that comes after quarrels. The make up sex can be very sweet and hot. Make up sex is the bomb.

I can’t even remember the last time I had a quarrel with my husband, unlike those days when we hardly have a long chat without quarreling or arguing.
The truth is that I cant even let the quarrels and arguments to disappear. What will happen to make up sex, gifts and hangouts that follows quarrels.
Quarrels gives me blood and energy as said by my husband, which I think is true. That is because after quarrel sex and relationship is very sweet.

Ask every happy couple you know or see, they will tell you that the early years is not always smooth, do not envy their happy marriage, it took them years and patience to build what they are enjoying now. It is said that Rome was not build in a day.

Even in-laws relationship, it gets better with years, those first few years, you are still learning your in-laws and adapting to them, and their lifestyle while they are still learning you.

It took me time to adapt to my in-laws, now they are my in loves.

Maybe God answered my prayers like my mother in-law advised, or that we learned and adapted to each other very well now, or that the child bearing years are over and we now have time for each other now, or that we now over look those things that causes quarrels, or that I stopped nagging, or that it just got better just like that, but all I know now, is that it is better now, very much better.

Give it time, be patient, do your job well, it will get better.


STAY HAPPY ALWAYS.................

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